Why? Here are my top 6 reasons we need sometimes to say 'no'.
#1 Failing to get something that you want, helps to make you more grateful when you do.
#2 We learn from failures, and by not always getting our way or the things that we want.
#3 Being told 'no' is arguably the greatest contributor to understanding the failures of others and developing empathy.
#4 Learning to accept a 'no' helps you to learn how to say no to others; an important key to self-control and preservation.
#5 Having people who love you saying 'no' teaches you a great deal about what true love is.
#6 Being told 'no' helps to develop endurance and determination.
Of course teachers can also have the same problems with saying no. Being able to say 'no' is a great gift from a parent or teacher to a child. But when you do say no it is important to remember a few basics:
- First, always try to explain why you are saying no. This will help children to grasp that you actually want what is best for them and that you value them.
- Second, be consistent! There is no point saying 'no' once and then giving in to the same thing an hour later.
- Third, never say 'no' simply in anger. Yes, at times kids make us angry, but your delivery of a 'no' should be delivered while under control and focused on their good not just punishment.
- Fourth, don't allow your children - when faced with a no - to engage in a debate; they need to respect your authority as a parent and your right to say no.
- Fifth, don't allow your children to work one parent against the other. In my family a no to one parent was enough. You need to shut down this type of manipulation by not allowing the child to split parent opinion down the middle.
Good luck saying no.